You’ve accepted the fact that there’s no saving your marriage and divorce is imminent. Now, you just have to get through the process.
Friends and family are urging you to push hard on every detail and really take your spouse to task on everything from the division of the marital debts and assets to custody and support.
Should you listen? Probably not. Here’s why choosing an uncontested divorce (where you and your spouse try to peacefully resolve your split by agreement with a minimum of court involvement) is much better:
You can keep your divorce costs down
The average attorney fees for an uncontested divorce start at about $1,000 – while the average divorce costs around $12,900. You can bet that the larger number reflects the cost of fighting everything out in court.
If you want to preserve as much of the marital pot as you can (so that there’s actually something to divide), an uncontested divorce is best.
You can preserve a better co-parenting relationship
If you and your spouse have children together, you’re likely to be in each other’s lives for a very long time (even after the youngest turns 18), so it’s definitely worth trying to preserve a good working relationship.
Long after your marriage is dissolved, you and your ex will need to get on with the business of raising your children. A hostile, bitter divorce is going to make that job a lot harder, while an uncontested divorce sets the tone for a cooperative partnership that’s centered on your children.
You can preserve your public dignity
When you and your spouse can work out the details of your divorce without a big, public battle, you get to keep your privacy.
This can translate into everything from protecting your professional reputation (because gossip about marital woes can and will damage it) to helping preserve your social circle. A private agreement keeps tongues from wagging.
Sometimes, when it comes to divorce, there’s simply no way to avoid a fight – but you owe it to yourself and your future to explore all the potential options.